summoned

[mute_pen]

Etty is awoken not by her transformation, but by her summons, a few minutes after dark. In her sleep, she drifted to shore; she's lying in human form - arm intact - half in and half out of the water when she feels it.

It's very insistent.

She cannot bring herself to move. She tries - she does; intellectually she knows it's the smart thing to do - but - she can't. Cannot get up and go to him.

Comments

[mute_pen]

"Why?" Etty murmurs.

[growcrooked]

"I really don't want to be doing something you don't like and not know about it."

[mute_pen]

"Well - like compared to what - if I were going to do that it would be because I'm desperate," murmurs Etty. "I - I think I like almost anything you could do better than staying here."

[growcrooked]

"Well, yeah," says Nona, "I like lots of things better than the Baron that I don't actually like at all. But - but don't," she says helplessly.

[mute_pen]

Etty nibbles her lip, flexes her hurt foot, puts it somewhere more comfortable. "If you can't - satisfy the curse - I don't see another chance. I'm going to turn into a swanbrained - thing - if I can't get out of here - my mind is going to go - and that's the worst part, the worst, even though the rest is -" She shudders. "I don't have long. A few years isn't long."

[growcrooked]

Nona hugs her.

"But - I can't," she says, "I mean, if I don't know that you're really the person you are, if I can't know that you're okay when I think you're okay, if I don't know you then I can't love you forever because I wouldn't be loving you in the first place." She takes a deep breath. "So - promise," she says. "Promise you won't pretend like that."

[mute_pen]

Etty swallows.

If you love me, you don't get another chance with another swan, ever again -

But for all Etty knows the curse agrees with Nona about what it means for someone to love her.

"I promise," Etty says.

[growcrooked]

"I love you," says Nona, hugging her some more.

[mute_pen]

"I am so afraid," Etty whispers, hugging tight, "that it won't be enough."

[growcrooked]

"Me too," says Nona. "And even if I did promise - we'd still have to do something about the Baron, after. Or he'd just do it all over again."

[mute_pen]

"Do you think you could kill him? I don't think I could."

[growcrooked]

"I think I could," she says. "If I surprised him. I know where to stab somebody so it really hurts."

[mute_pen]

Etty nods.

"I have never wanted anyone dead before him," she murmurs.

[growcrooked]

"Me neither," Nona says wryly. "But I've wanted him dead for a long time."

[mute_pen]

Etty nods.

[growcrooked]

Nona sighs, and hugs her.

[mute_pen]

Hugs.

"If Carl is dead I don't even know what I'd do, where I'd go, but it would have to be better than here."

[growcrooked]

"Anywhere would be better than here," says Nona. "Dead would be better than here, for me."

[mute_pen]

Etty thinks.

"Dead would be better than swanbrained," she says slowly. "I'm not sure how fast swanbraining happens so I don't know when it would get that way. I'm not suicidal yet."

[growcrooked]

"I don't remember not being suicidal," says Nona.

[mute_pen]

"If he died would you still be?"

[growcrooked]

"I guess not."

[mute_pen]

"That's good."

[growcrooked]

"I guess."

[mute_pen]

"I don't want you to die."